3 posts tagged “berryz koubou”

So the next Berryz Koubou single has hit the radio and I thought I'd share some of the thoughts it spawned in me.

1. Obligatory: "Yuke! Yuke! Monkey Dance? Does Takahashi Ai really need her own theme song? Isn't that what every Morning Musume single is for?"

2. Needs more Momoko.
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The thing about this song is that it reminds me of Dschingis Khan a lot. It isn't that it sounds the same, it is clearly a different song. Rather, it is that this is the same type of peepy, voice distorted, Risako shouting key lines into the microphone style of music. Its the same kind of animal; one after another. Are all future Berryz singles going to be like this? Are we never going to get another Jiriri Kiteru, or Koi no Jubaku, or Kokuhaku no Funsui Hiroba?

If you look at recent C-ute releases you'll see something similar. All the album tracks on 3rd ~Love Escalation~ are some type of weird mid-tempo song. There are no true ballads and no really fast paced energy songs. Then the single following that is Namida no Iro, which is another mid-tempo offering. They all belong in the same class, in my eyes at least.

My thinking is that this is a deliberate choice to try to create a distinctive sound for each group. While I understand the need to differentiate your product line, I do not think this is the right way. This is the idol world; aren't the girls themselves the main thing they are trying to market instead of the largely interchangeable pop music? I would think they would spend more time trying to bring out each girl's persona more instead of imposing arbitrary musical distinctions. I like Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance, it is fun, catchy and energetic, but if all Berryz singles become like this I can see myself losing interest very quickly. Hell, we're barely two songs in and I'm already feeling a bit bored. I want more varied entertainment.

Maybe I'm wrong about this. It could be that I'm seeing patterns where there are none, and that the songs aren't nearly as similar I'm making them out to be. I've been wrong about plenty of things in the past, and that could certainly be the case here. I'm certainly no musical expert, but I would guess the real test will be whenever C-ute's next single is released.

Or, "On incontrovertible proof of my geekiness."

In passing, Celestia once suggested that H!P girls could wear Star Trek uniforms, and Ray indicated that they should use the male uniforms from the original series. On reading this my mind took the next logical step and I began wondering who would get what roles if I could recast the 1960s Trek series with members of Berryz Koubou. I think it's a great fit combining the fantasy world of idols and the crazy semi-Utopian Trek universe; it'd be like an orgy of unhealthy obsessions and unobtainable ideals. Anyway, I think I've got the cast pretty well worked out. "jol yIchu'!"

Starting from the top, we begin with Captain James T. Kirk. At first I had Shimizu Saki in mind for this role. After all, it only seems natural for "Captain" to have the Captain's seat. However, as I worked out the rest of the parts, the crew just didn't seem right. So I stopped and tried to use what I know about Kirk as my starting point. James Kirk is the ,genius, youngest ever starship captain who travels the galaxy fighting against space monsters and war while simultaneously teaching alien women how to love. Now, there is a member of Berryz Koubou who I could certainly see beaming down to a planet and getting her shirt torn off while battling a lizard-man: Tsugunaga Momoko. On the other hand, I don't really think Momoko would would be that good at the getting green chicks part. I've never seen anything that would suggest that she is good at "nanpa", but I wouldn't mind watching her try. Plus, if you look at the staccato way she delivered her lines as Morishta Mao in Koinu Dan no Monogatari I think she'd be quite good at a Shatner-esque performance. Anyway, William Shatner's acting was all about melodrama, and I feel there is no shortage of drama in Momoko. So, the ship's top spot has been assigned, but what about his second in command?

Next to the captain is always the science officer, Mr. Spock. With just a glance Kumai Yurina jumps out at me for this role, since Kumai can practically pass for a Vulcan already.

If you just look at her height in comparison to the other members she seems to be of a completely different species. The effect of the captain being only armpit high to her would be more striking than any of the makeup effects used in TOS. Furthermore, Kumai has experience acting in an emotionless manner in the Berryz News Network skit and the third Gekiharo play. Plus, (there's more!) she can wiggle her ears too! That is an invaluable skill for someone playing a Vulcan. Surprisingly, I didn't select her to play Spock. One of the best things about Mr. Spock, and something that in my opinion makes him more interesting than all the Vulcan characters that have followed him, is his sense of humor. For that reason I've pegged Sudo Maasa for his part. I think she could act stoic and logical and still provide the deadpan humor that I love about Spock. I can totally see Maasa delivering lines like, "You Earth people glorified organized violence for forty centuries.  But you imprison those who employ it privately.", oh SNAP! We may lose a little in the "alieness" of appearance, but I don't think that makes a big difference. If the last two series have taught us anything, it should be that an casting an emotionless girl in a catsuit based on looks does not necessarily make good TV. Another aspect that I think Maasa would excel at is the constant verbal sparring between Spock and Dr. McCoy. They are constantly trading little barbs and I see Maasa as being able to carry her own in such contests.

"The release of emotion is what keeps us healthy.  Emotionally healthy."
"That may be, Doctor.  However, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently unhealthy for those closest to you."
                -- McCoy and Spock, "Plato's Stepchildren", stardate 5784.3

As for the casting of the sarcastic, dedicated, yet acerbic doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy I can think of only one person: Natsuyaki Miyabi. I'm not sure exactly why but I consider her perfect for this role. Bones can be crotchety and harsh and although I don't have much evidence of that in Miyabi it doesn't seem completely out of line wither her character. Sometimes when they are making fun of other members I get the feeling that Miyabi really means it and isn't just joking around, but I certainly can't prove that. At the very least she played sort of a bitch in Koinu Dan no Monogatari so I think it would all work out. Also, DeForest Kelley was the oldest member of the original cast, and while Miyabi may not be the eldest, she is the "otona" member and can fill that role well. In addition to Bones McCoy, I think there is one other crew member who has a similarly excellent fit within Berryz Koubou.

The Chief engineer Montgomery Scott has near perfect match in Berryz Koubou. Scotty is an excitable person, who is prone to sudden outburst like, "She canna' take any morrrrreeee!". He was always high energy and, relative to the rest of Star Trek, had a 'live fast, die young' mentality. He liked to party and wasn't unaccustomed to downing a drink or two or six. He also had a fondness for unattainably high class love partners. In my mind that all points to the Berryz firecracker, Tokunaga Chinami. She is a ball of energy, and if I were to finger someone as a secret all out party girl, I think Chii would fit the bill. Personally, I'd love to see Chinami in this role, particularly if she affected an extravagant accent when doing it.

The other heavily accented character is Chekov and I'd put Risako in his part. Chekov constantly boasts of Russia and Russian accomplishments. A lot of his most famous lines from the series have to do with him erroneously attributing famous sayings to notables Russians. "'A penny saved is penny earned', I believe Tolstoy said that" is the sort of thing he would boast and the people around him would roll their eyes and maybe offer a correction if they were feeling particularly generous. I don't know Risako's view of Russia, but I can certainly see her failing to cite sources properly. That's not to say that I think Risako is dumb or anything. It is just that I think she can easily be mistaken about things from time to time. Additionally, there's is a willful side to Chekov's personality and I think that matches well with Risako. You don't start tearing off pieces of your costume during a performance if you are a wilting flower. Also, Chekov is a bit more free with his emotions than the usually stoic sulu, and I see that as a boon for Risako as she can emote quite strongly.

The sole remaining major male crew member is Lieutenant Sulu. This part will go to Kumai. You may ask why, but the answer is simple... because... well just because. Sulu is Japanese and Kumai is Japanese; that is a match right there. Sulu has black hair and Kumai has black hair too. You might think that I'd have better reasons than that, but not really. All I can recall about TOS era Sulu is George Takei's deep voice and this one episode where Sulu was on an away mission and went all Bruce Lee. Maybe he got chased my a tiger too... I don't really remember. Kumai doesn't have deep voice when compared to anyone except Momoko, and I don't see her as a kick ass martial artist either, but she is Japanese, so it is a perfect fit. It is like it was meant to be.

With Sulu being assigned all the male officer roles have been filled, but we still have a Berryz Koubou member left, the erstwhile captain, Shimizu Saki. I suppose the logical thing would be to make her Lt. Uhura and that way she would remain a main character and a bridge officer, but this exercise was started in regard to Berryz in the male uniforms so that doesn't seem appropriate. However, there is another recurring male fixture she could play:

The incredibly famous and quintessentially Star Trek, "Red Shirt". Well, I wouldn't do that to Saki, but there is another role she could take that would let her keep her rank of captain: Capt. Christopher Pike! "*beep**beep*". I wouldn't do that to her either, but I do have one character in mind that I believe would suit her rather well.

Yeoman Janice Rand. Yes, it is a female character, but I think this one would introduce some interesting dynamics that I think that Saki as Uhura would not. Yeoman Rand was originally intended to be Captain Kirk's love interest but the writers felt that giving the main Lothario a ball and chain would weaken the show. I, on the other hand, think she would make a great "other woman" (or primary woman) on the ship. She could be alternately jealous and loving, sometimes down and sometimes angry. I think Saki could be great in this role, switching freely between sweet, pouty and mad. She could yell at Capt. Momoko when the commander returns from a new mission of spreading syphilis throughout the galaxy. Only to make up with her when Momo spouts some cheesy line. Then they would make out for a bit, exchange a few 1950s TV innuendos for sex and we would fade into the next scene. I am confident Saki would be great in this part, she can certainly play sad and downtrodden well (that is practically all she did in Koinu Dan no Monogatari), and I think her cutesy/girly act is hard to top. I love the idea of this whole relationship though, I want Momoko to be sort of callous towards Saki's feelings, but to have genuine sentiments for her. I'd want Momoko to mean the sweet things she says towards Yeoman Saki, but when she has and encounter with a new alien woman she wouldn't ever consider Saki's jealousy. Momoko would be utterly incapable of understanding that emotion. Monogamy would be more alien to her than the extraterrestrial chicks she's always bagging. She wouldn't mean any harm, it would be that she doesn't understand that she could be doing harm by showing love. Saki would be troubled by this relationship, but unwilling to consider letting it go. There could be lots of interesting dramatic tension there.

I think the original series Star Trek cast like this would be a wonderful production. The idea of Berryz Koubou traipsing around the galaxy, participating in thinly veiled allegories of current problems as heroes of justice is incredibly appealing. Who wouldn't want to see Berryz Koubou beam down to a planet on a mission of humanitarian aid, only to defeat religious intolerance from a position of absolute moral certainty. I'd also love to see them running through cheap sets that weren't made for their PVs, while fighting in battles where the two most effective martial techniques are a karate chop to the back of the neck (which results in an instant K.O.) and a blow to the stomach followed by a double fist strike to the back ( instant victory!).

If I had a few million dollars to spare I'd absolutely begin production on the project now. I don't think it would cost very much to hire Berryz Koubou, and the episodes could be made with a shoestring budget if you aim for the same production values as the original. Complicating matters would be the need to license Star Trek from Paramount. They have refrained from suing fan made productions in the past, but I think if Berryz Koubou et al. are getting paid, they'd want to get paid too. Personally I love this idea so much that I considered taking up a collection for it, after all millions were raised to try and save "Enterprise" of all things, but I doubt that enough others would feel the same way about a Berryz Trek as I do.

I am a big believer in the power of clichés to show what people view as universally true through the practice of unquestioning repetition. One of my favorite sayings is: "You learn something new everyday". I think it is important to end every day with a little more knowledge than you began it with, and that there are plenty of new things to learn if you just keep your eyes open. They also say that knowledge is power, and it is my hope to one day have amassed enough knowledge to become the unquestioned ruler of all creation and grind humanity underneath my heel. Until that day I'll have to be content with my current lot in life, and that lot has me learning what I can from Berikyuu!. Here are some of the things that I've learned from the first weeks worth of shows.

In the first episode I learned that C-ute's LALALA Shitfest no Uta dresses could be pretty low cut in the front. Just a little bit more and maybe... well, anyway I take back 5% of the negative things I've said about those dresses. The song is still shit though.

On day two I discovered that Miyabi is cuter than I ever gave her credit for. As Okai gives the final suggestion as to what the object could be you can see that Miyabi thinks that it could be the right answer. The way she clutches her tool and twists her arms up to her body while looking around sort of nervously. Then when it is revealed that the answer is not correct, her sudden outpouring of surprise and relief. I find that all incredibly adorable.

Also, is it just me or does this part of Okai's dress look like the eye of some kind of monster? Seriously, these outfits look like they were made with scraps from the Jim Henson workshop. I hereby restore 45% of the negative things I said that I earlier retracted.

The third episode brought about questions regarding the set decorations. It is obvious that most of the furnishings are recycled from the set of the LA LA LA Shitfest no Uta PV, like the hexagonal shelving unit and the rounded right angle bookshelf piece. However the one thing that caught my attention the most was the silver fire hydrant that sits off to the side.

It is sitting on the extreme margin of the set, behind the cables and gaffer's tape, almost far enough to pretend to be a real hydrant. Yet, how could a silver fire hydrant indoors be anything but a prop. So, we're left to wonder what it represents, is it a warning about some kind of looming danger? What is going to be burned away during the course of Berikyuu! that we should be concerned about? Perhaps it is meant to echo the only other silver object on set, the similarly roughly cylindrical in shape rocketship that sits on the bookcase. Is the color and shape supposed to be representative of something else? They are both related to fire, hydrants help put it out and rockets spew it forth and are propelled by it. Is there some significance there? It is such a mystery. If you argue that it isn't supposed to represent something, and is just a prop, that doesn't answer any questions as to why they decided to include it, while simultaineously keeping to to the side as far as possible. I am confounded by it.

The fourth episode is "Pose de BeriQ!", and I think the most intriguing thing is observing who people look at when they open their eyes.

It is interesting to see where people look for validation or confirmation. I also like how Chisato only barely got it right, and then was asking Mai what the Hell she was doing in a sort of condescending tone, what a bitch!

In the final episode of week one we have our first exposure to dry erase boards. I was struck by how weird (to me) is the way that Okai holds her pen. 

She grips it between her ring and middle fingers, whereas I and most people I've met hold it between the middle and index fingers. A lot of those who I saw hold it differently were left handed, and I'd assumed they adopted that alternate technique to prevent smudging as they wrote, but that doesn't seem applicable here. Many of the H!P members on this show write in a similar way, the one who is closest to my form is Nakajima Saki, though I don't hold a pen with such a death drip to force my index finger into that shape. I took out a pen and tried writing like Okai does and I discovered that it makes it more difficult for me to move the point through my normal range without using my whole arm. Additionally, I started feeling fatigue in my wrist and forearm before I finished the fourth sentence. Clearly I'm not very good at writing like that. I'd always believed that I wrote the "right" way, I hold a pencil like the unicode symbol ✍ after all, but seeing several people take a different path I can't help but feel doubt.

I've learned lots of things from Berikyuu!, not the least of which is that there is always something new to learn. In all honesty I want to learn about the girls more than corn preparation equipment and the like, but with careful observation I think that will come in time. If "knowledge is power", hopefully through Berikyuu! I will gain the power needed to rule the Earth with an iron fist. Though they also say that "curiosity killed the cat", so if I'm lucky I won't find out anything I don't want to know...