Otingocni’s blog

Huh? A beard?

You know, I did ask for inappropriate pics with Kanna, but this isn't what I had in mind. Is it too soon to dub her the "Tila Tequila of JPop"? When would be the right time?

I'll be honest with you, I don't really seem to care about this relationship. I've made no secret of the fact that I don't really like Kanna, but in spite of that I still hope they don't kick her out, or punish her in any way really. I would like to see the absurd "no boyfriends" rule go away, so that when Okai gets a boyfriend (or gets caught with her current beau) it isn't viewed as a big deal. Then again, if Kanna gets kicked to the curb I'm sure that would mean a few more solo lines tossed Chisato's way... This is a tough choice... Unfortunately, I am not in charge of these decisions. If I were, there would've been no Kanna in the first place, which retroactively shows my good judgment. Do you think that would be enough to get a job as C-ute's manager? Probably not, huh?

Oh well. Good luck to the couple I guess. I think the guy is pretty lucky, I mean, scoring a chick whose one talent is "my body is flexible" and who doesn't seem completely adverse to the basic premise of a three-way, namely, another girl. Shit, if I could get that I'd be willing to overlook a lot of things. Blood sacrifices to Baal? That's cool with me, if you're willing to call up some of your more open minded girlfriends. Well, maybe I'm the only one that thinks like that, but I seriously doubt it.

Anyway, if this is a world where Tsunku♂ can get married (to a woman) and have kids, then I guess anything is possible.

*Yawn* Wake me when she's pregnant.

So the next Berryz Koubou single has hit the radio and I thought I'd share some of the thoughts it spawned in me.

1. Obligatory: "Yuke! Yuke! Monkey Dance? Does Takahashi Ai really need her own theme song? Isn't that what every Morning Musume single is for?"

2. Needs more Momoko.
___________

The thing about this song is that it reminds me of Dschingis Khan a lot. It isn't that it sounds the same, it is clearly a different song. Rather, it is that this is the same type of peepy, voice distorted, Risako shouting key lines into the microphone style of music. Its the same kind of animal; one after another. Are all future Berryz singles going to be like this? Are we never going to get another Jiriri Kiteru, or Koi no Jubaku, or Kokuhaku no Funsui Hiroba?

If you look at recent C-ute releases you'll see something similar. All the album tracks on 3rd ~Love Escalation~ are some type of weird mid-tempo song. There are no true ballads and no really fast paced energy songs. Then the single following that is Namida no Iro, which is another mid-tempo offering. They all belong in the same class, in my eyes at least.

My thinking is that this is a deliberate choice to try to create a distinctive sound for each group. While I understand the need to differentiate your product line, I do not think this is the right way. This is the idol world; aren't the girls themselves the main thing they are trying to market instead of the largely interchangeable pop music? I would think they would spend more time trying to bring out each girl's persona more instead of imposing arbitrary musical distinctions. I like Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance, it is fun, catchy and energetic, but if all Berryz singles become like this I can see myself losing interest very quickly. Hell, we're barely two songs in and I'm already feeling a bit bored. I want more varied entertainment.

Maybe I'm wrong about this. It could be that I'm seeing patterns where there are none, and that the songs aren't nearly as similar I'm making them out to be. I've been wrong about plenty of things in the past, and that could certainly be the case here. I'm certainly no musical expert, but I would guess the real test will be whenever C-ute's next single is released.

I love Milky Way. I love Milky Way because I love Anata Boshi. I love Anata Boshi because it is musically just the type of song I like; It is high energy from start to finish, and even during the requisite musical interlude it doesn't let that energy slip. Within Milky Way, vocally at least, Kikkawa Yuu is my favorite. Her voice has a certain sweet quality that I find really appealing. Listening to her is like those movies where a guy wakes up from a coma with no memories and a beautiful, compassionate nurse rehabilitates him and they fall in love. A voice that can nurse you back to health. Well that's a bit much, but in any case I like it. I have one major problem with the video though: the floor. It is the same type of floor as was used in Tsukiatteru no ni Kataomoi (possibly the very same floor), and it is very uneven. If you are going to have a reflective floor, you should make sure that it lays flat. All the imperfections are clearly visible in the shiny surface. I can't imagine this is on purpose, because I've never heard of any situation where flooring material being described as wavy and buckled was a good thing. However, I consider this to be a trivial aspect of what I think is an overall great product. This song is the kind that makes me believe I can turn my wishes in to reality someday. It is my dream to start a pit at a JPop show and I think I could go wild to Anata Boshi. In my life I've only ever been to punk and metal shows and I consider getting knocked around to be an essential part of a fulfilling concert going experience. If I go to a show and there is no pit, or only a weak one, I leave feeling disappointed and sort of empty. Similarly Japanese wotas seem to like to do their organized chants, clapping while turning in circles and other formal wota-gei. That appears to be important to them as a way of expressing their adoration of and appreciation for the idols they love. I on the other hand, consider losing yourself in the music and moving however your body wants to move to be the greatest act of appreciation you can express to those on stage. If they managed to transport you out of yourself for a while they have accomplished their job, while if you just stand there they failed. To be left with the wherewithal to follow scripted actions in the face of their performance would have a similar meaning to me. This dissolution of self at a concert is my main end in music. As a corollary, I've always wanted to participate in a riot. There you can truly lose yourself in the mob, and all of society's rules disappear. Whenever a local sports team has a major victory or there is a large anti-war protest or something I go and try to incite one, but people don't seem interested. Maybe I should bring a boom box and start blasting some Milky Way to see if people will begin to flip out...

WTF Kanna's a lesbian? How the fuck did I miss this information? That is what I get for skipping over every discussion that involves Kanna. There are certain things in this world that I love: I love H!P, I love girl-on-girl action and I love U-15. Kanna has the potential to achieve the trifecta! This is almost enough to make me start liking her. So, I'll support you Kanna; embrace your inner muff-diver, take her out and see how she feels, I'll bet she's soft and inviting. If photos of her hooking up with some Eggs or something start showing up, she'll immediately get bumped into my fave 5. Until then, nothing has really changed.

Though... I'll have to admit that this revalation leaves me feeling... kind of resentful. Not only does Kanna get to bathe with C-ute, but she gets to find it sexually gratifying as well; that's just not fair. Not only does she get to see Nakajima Saki naked, but she gets to squeeze into a small tub with her too, pressing her bare flesh against Saki's glistening, soap slick skin. The very least she could do is provide some pictures of it for the rest of us. That's just basic human decency: if you have a bounty of something that others have a debilitating lack of, you share the wealth. Now, I don't need food aid, I can live without eating for a few weeks, but I have a hard time carrying on without some of what she can offer. As a marxist, I am appalled by her desire to hoard things for herself, and as human being, I am appalled by her apparent indifference to the suffering of others. Damn it Kanna, if I got to bathe with a member of C-ute I would show you pics. Even if you didn't ask. Haven't you heard of "doing unto others as they would do unto you"? Now I have a new reason to dislike Kanna, she's stingy.

Seriously though, it does change the way I view certain things. Like the Little Gatas penalty kick competition for example.

C-ute is on a TV program taking turns attempting penalty kicks. So, Saki comes up and duffs her kick. Then, as you might expect from her, she goes crying to the others for support. Kanna gives her a consoling hug then takes her right hand from Saki's back and moves it to her butt. I'd thought that this was pretty hot before, but now that I know that Kanna really was copping a feel I don't know what to think. In the past, I just considered it a delusion of my perverted mind, now I view it as an act born out of someone's feelings and emotions. I can't get off to feelings! I may be gay, but I'm not a woman. Such things don't interest me.

If Kanna takes being gay and makes it a central part of her image as an idol I'm all for that, it sounds interesting after all. I'm not sure how she would do it given the quasi forbidden nature of idol sexuality, but I think it could be done. When she gets asked what type of guy she likes, she could respond, "one with ovaries". Brilliant! Anyway Kanna, if you're gay, be gay. Don't hold it in. Being repressed and introverted is not a winning formula for an idol.

Or, "On incontrovertible proof of my geekiness."

In passing, Celestia once suggested that H!P girls could wear Star Trek uniforms, and Ray indicated that they should use the male uniforms from the original series. On reading this my mind took the next logical step and I began wondering who would get what roles if I could recast the 1960s Trek series with members of Berryz Koubou. I think it's a great fit combining the fantasy world of idols and the crazy semi-Utopian Trek universe; it'd be like an orgy of unhealthy obsessions and unobtainable ideals. Anyway, I think I've got the cast pretty well worked out. "jol yIchu'!"

Starting from the top, we begin with Captain James T. Kirk. At first I had Shimizu Saki in mind for this role. After all, it only seems natural for "Captain" to have the Captain's seat. However, as I worked out the rest of the parts, the crew just didn't seem right. So I stopped and tried to use what I know about Kirk as my starting point. James Kirk is the ,genius, youngest ever starship captain who travels the galaxy fighting against space monsters and war while simultaneously teaching alien women how to love. Now, there is a member of Berryz Koubou who I could certainly see beaming down to a planet and getting her shirt torn off while battling a lizard-man: Tsugunaga Momoko. On the other hand, I don't really think Momoko would would be that good at the getting green chicks part. I've never seen anything that would suggest that she is good at "nanpa", but I wouldn't mind watching her try. Plus, if you look at the staccato way she delivered her lines as Morishta Mao in Koinu Dan no Monogatari I think she'd be quite good at a Shatner-esque performance. Anyway, William Shatner's acting was all about melodrama, and I feel there is no shortage of drama in Momoko. So, the ship's top spot has been assigned, but what about his second in command?

Next to the captain is always the science officer, Mr. Spock. With just a glance Kumai Yurina jumps out at me for this role, since Kumai can practically pass for a Vulcan already.

If you just look at her height in comparison to the other members she seems to be of a completely different species. The effect of the captain being only armpit high to her would be more striking than any of the makeup effects used in TOS. Furthermore, Kumai has experience acting in an emotionless manner in the Berryz News Network skit and the third Gekiharo play. Plus, (there's more!) she can wiggle her ears too! That is an invaluable skill for someone playing a Vulcan. Surprisingly, I didn't select her to play Spock. One of the best things about Mr. Spock, and something that in my opinion makes him more interesting than all the Vulcan characters that have followed him, is his sense of humor. For that reason I've pegged Sudo Maasa for his part. I think she could act stoic and logical and still provide the deadpan humor that I love about Spock. I can totally see Maasa delivering lines like, "You Earth people glorified organized violence for forty centuries.  But you imprison those who employ it privately.", oh SNAP! We may lose a little in the "alieness" of appearance, but I don't think that makes a big difference. If the last two series have taught us anything, it should be that an casting an emotionless girl in a catsuit based on looks does not necessarily make good TV. Another aspect that I think Maasa would excel at is the constant verbal sparring between Spock and Dr. McCoy. They are constantly trading little barbs and I see Maasa as being able to carry her own in such contests.

"The release of emotion is what keeps us healthy.  Emotionally healthy."
"That may be, Doctor.  However, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently unhealthy for those closest to you."
                -- McCoy and Spock, "Plato's Stepchildren", stardate 5784.3

As for the casting of the sarcastic, dedicated, yet acerbic doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy I can think of only one person: Natsuyaki Miyabi. I'm not sure exactly why but I consider her perfect for this role. Bones can be crotchety and harsh and although I don't have much evidence of that in Miyabi it doesn't seem completely out of line wither her character. Sometimes when they are making fun of other members I get the feeling that Miyabi really means it and isn't just joking around, but I certainly can't prove that. At the very least she played sort of a bitch in Koinu Dan no Monogatari so I think it would all work out. Also, DeForest Kelley was the oldest member of the original cast, and while Miyabi may not be the eldest, she is the "otona" member and can fill that role well. In addition to Bones McCoy, I think there is one other crew member who has a similarly excellent fit within Berryz Koubou.

The Chief engineer Montgomery Scott has near perfect match in Berryz Koubou. Scotty is an excitable person, who is prone to sudden outburst like, "She canna' take any morrrrreeee!". He was always high energy and, relative to the rest of Star Trek, had a 'live fast, die young' mentality. He liked to party and wasn't unaccustomed to downing a drink or two or six. He also had a fondness for unattainably high class love partners. In my mind that all points to the Berryz firecracker, Tokunaga Chinami. She is a ball of energy, and if I were to finger someone as a secret all out party girl, I think Chii would fit the bill. Personally, I'd love to see Chinami in this role, particularly if she affected an extravagant accent when doing it.

The other heavily accented character is Chekov and I'd put Risako in his part. Chekov constantly boasts of Russia and Russian accomplishments. A lot of his most famous lines from the series have to do with him erroneously attributing famous sayings to notables Russians. "'A penny saved is penny earned', I believe Tolstoy said that" is the sort of thing he would boast and the people around him would roll their eyes and maybe offer a correction if they were feeling particularly generous. I don't know Risako's view of Russia, but I can certainly see her failing to cite sources properly. That's not to say that I think Risako is dumb or anything. It is just that I think she can easily be mistaken about things from time to time. Additionally, there's is a willful side to Chekov's personality and I think that matches well with Risako. You don't start tearing off pieces of your costume during a performance if you are a wilting flower. Also, Chekov is a bit more free with his emotions than the usually stoic sulu, and I see that as a boon for Risako as she can emote quite strongly.

The sole remaining major male crew member is Lieutenant Sulu. This part will go to Kumai. You may ask why, but the answer is simple... because... well just because. Sulu is Japanese and Kumai is Japanese; that is a match right there. Sulu has black hair and Kumai has black hair too. You might think that I'd have better reasons than that, but not really. All I can recall about TOS era Sulu is George Takei's deep voice and this one episode where Sulu was on an away mission and went all Bruce Lee. Maybe he got chased my a tiger too... I don't really remember. Kumai doesn't have deep voice when compared to anyone except Momoko, and I don't see her as a kick ass martial artist either, but she is Japanese, so it is a perfect fit. It is like it was meant to be.

With Sulu being assigned all the male officer roles have been filled, but we still have a Berryz Koubou member left, the erstwhile captain, Shimizu Saki. I suppose the logical thing would be to make her Lt. Uhura and that way she would remain a main character and a bridge officer, but this exercise was started in regard to Berryz in the male uniforms so that doesn't seem appropriate. However, there is another recurring male fixture she could play:

The incredibly famous and quintessentially Star Trek, "Red Shirt". Well, I wouldn't do that to Saki, but there is another role she could take that would let her keep her rank of captain: Capt. Christopher Pike! "*beep**beep*". I wouldn't do that to her either, but I do have one character in mind that I believe would suit her rather well.

Yeoman Janice Rand. Yes, it is a female character, but I think this one would introduce some interesting dynamics that I think that Saki as Uhura would not. Yeoman Rand was originally intended to be Captain Kirk's love interest but the writers felt that giving the main Lothario a ball and chain would weaken the show. I, on the other hand, think she would make a great "other woman" (or primary woman) on the ship. She could be alternately jealous and loving, sometimes down and sometimes angry. I think Saki could be great in this role, switching freely between sweet, pouty and mad. She could yell at Capt. Momoko when the commander returns from a new mission of spreading syphilis throughout the galaxy. Only to make up with her when Momo spouts some cheesy line. Then they would make out for a bit, exchange a few 1950s TV innuendos for sex and we would fade into the next scene. I am confident Saki would be great in this part, she can certainly play sad and downtrodden well (that is practically all she did in Koinu Dan no Monogatari), and I think her cutesy/girly act is hard to top. I love the idea of this whole relationship though, I want Momoko to be sort of callous towards Saki's feelings, but to have genuine sentiments for her. I'd want Momoko to mean the sweet things she says towards Yeoman Saki, but when she has and encounter with a new alien woman she wouldn't ever consider Saki's jealousy. Momoko would be utterly incapable of understanding that emotion. Monogamy would be more alien to her than the extraterrestrial chicks she's always bagging. She wouldn't mean any harm, it would be that she doesn't understand that she could be doing harm by showing love. Saki would be troubled by this relationship, but unwilling to consider letting it go. There could be lots of interesting dramatic tension there.

I think the original series Star Trek cast like this would be a wonderful production. The idea of Berryz Koubou traipsing around the galaxy, participating in thinly veiled allegories of current problems as heroes of justice is incredibly appealing. Who wouldn't want to see Berryz Koubou beam down to a planet on a mission of humanitarian aid, only to defeat religious intolerance from a position of absolute moral certainty. I'd also love to see them running through cheap sets that weren't made for their PVs, while fighting in battles where the two most effective martial techniques are a karate chop to the back of the neck (which results in an instant K.O.) and a blow to the stomach followed by a double fist strike to the back ( instant victory!).

If I had a few million dollars to spare I'd absolutely begin production on the project now. I don't think it would cost very much to hire Berryz Koubou, and the episodes could be made with a shoestring budget if you aim for the same production values as the original. Complicating matters would be the need to license Star Trek from Paramount. They have refrained from suing fan made productions in the past, but I think if Berryz Koubou et al. are getting paid, they'd want to get paid too. Personally I love this idea so much that I considered taking up a collection for it, after all millions were raised to try and save "Enterprise" of all things, but I doubt that enough others would feel the same way about a Berryz Trek as I do.

I am a big believer in the power of clichés to show what people view as universally true through the practice of unquestioning repetition. One of my favorite sayings is: "You learn something new everyday". I think it is important to end every day with a little more knowledge than you began it with, and that there are plenty of new things to learn if you just keep your eyes open. They also say that knowledge is power, and it is my hope to one day have amassed enough knowledge to become the unquestioned ruler of all creation and grind humanity underneath my heel. Until that day I'll have to be content with my current lot in life, and that lot has me learning what I can from Berikyuu!. Here are some of the things that I've learned from the first weeks worth of shows.

In the first episode I learned that C-ute's LALALA Shitfest no Uta dresses could be pretty low cut in the front. Just a little bit more and maybe... well, anyway I take back 5% of the negative things I've said about those dresses. The song is still shit though.

On day two I discovered that Miyabi is cuter than I ever gave her credit for. As Okai gives the final suggestion as to what the object could be you can see that Miyabi thinks that it could be the right answer. The way she clutches her tool and twists her arms up to her body while looking around sort of nervously. Then when it is revealed that the answer is not correct, her sudden outpouring of surprise and relief. I find that all incredibly adorable.

Also, is it just me or does this part of Okai's dress look like the eye of some kind of monster? Seriously, these outfits look like they were made with scraps from the Jim Henson workshop. I hereby restore 45% of the negative things I said that I earlier retracted.

The third episode brought about questions regarding the set decorations. It is obvious that most of the furnishings are recycled from the set of the LA LA LA Shitfest no Uta PV, like the hexagonal shelving unit and the rounded right angle bookshelf piece. However the one thing that caught my attention the most was the silver fire hydrant that sits off to the side.

It is sitting on the extreme margin of the set, behind the cables and gaffer's tape, almost far enough to pretend to be a real hydrant. Yet, how could a silver fire hydrant indoors be anything but a prop. So, we're left to wonder what it represents, is it a warning about some kind of looming danger? What is going to be burned away during the course of Berikyuu! that we should be concerned about? Perhaps it is meant to echo the only other silver object on set, the similarly roughly cylindrical in shape rocketship that sits on the bookcase. Is the color and shape supposed to be representative of something else? They are both related to fire, hydrants help put it out and rockets spew it forth and are propelled by it. Is there some significance there? It is such a mystery. If you argue that it isn't supposed to represent something, and is just a prop, that doesn't answer any questions as to why they decided to include it, while simultaineously keeping to to the side as far as possible. I am confounded by it.

The fourth episode is "Pose de BeriQ!", and I think the most intriguing thing is observing who people look at when they open their eyes.

It is interesting to see where people look for validation or confirmation. I also like how Chisato only barely got it right, and then was asking Mai what the Hell she was doing in a sort of condescending tone, what a bitch!

In the final episode of week one we have our first exposure to dry erase boards. I was struck by how weird (to me) is the way that Okai holds her pen. 

She grips it between her ring and middle fingers, whereas I and most people I've met hold it between the middle and index fingers. A lot of those who I saw hold it differently were left handed, and I'd assumed they adopted that alternate technique to prevent smudging as they wrote, but that doesn't seem applicable here. Many of the H!P members on this show write in a similar way, the one who is closest to my form is Nakajima Saki, though I don't hold a pen with such a death drip to force my index finger into that shape. I took out a pen and tried writing like Okai does and I discovered that it makes it more difficult for me to move the point through my normal range without using my whole arm. Additionally, I started feeling fatigue in my wrist and forearm before I finished the fourth sentence. Clearly I'm not very good at writing like that. I'd always believed that I wrote the "right" way, I hold a pencil like the unicode symbol ✍ after all, but seeing several people take a different path I can't help but feel doubt.

I've learned lots of things from Berikyuu!, not the least of which is that there is always something new to learn. In all honesty I want to learn about the girls more than corn preparation equipment and the like, but with careful observation I think that will come in time. If "knowledge is power", hopefully through Berikyuu! I will gain the power needed to rule the Earth with an iron fist. Though they also say that "curiosity killed the cat", so if I'm lucky I won't find out anything I don't want to know...

I've been inspired by the "chotto matte!" series of posts that have been going on over at ★ ☆ yossha yossha YOSSHA! ☆ ★, so I decided to share my favorite all time Sudou Massa picture.

I don't know if Yoshimi was planning to post this one later on, but I think it's still okay. I mean, I think this photo is good enough to post twice.

Yeah, I did it again, I couldn't help myself.

I know it is not unusual to have fantasies involving particularly beloved idols. So, it isn't that strange that I imagine Okai smiling like this and giving me the finger. Maybe playfully swearing at me some in broken English too. That's not weird at all... of course it's not...

Anyway, I'll close this post out with Okai Chisato doing her Fujimoto Miki impersonation during the August 17th, 2007 episode of HaroPuro Yanen.

Well, I've been out of town for a little more than a week. I meant to mention something about it left, but... well I failed that. Anyway, with the recent airline problems I wasn't sure I was going to make the trip, but that isn't any excuse. I was intending to post something along the lines of, "I'll be away from the internet for over a week, so if there is a huge scandal and an H!P sex tape surfaces; please, for the love of God, save me a copy! Yes, even if it features Yasuda Kei, or Tsunku.♂ " But I didn't post anything, I just disappeared. HA! Take that, whoever might give a damn! Leaving what I didn't do aside, I'll talk about what I did do: I went to Hawaii and wrote blog posts with pen and paper. How sad is that? Well, that wasn't all I did, but it is a way to kill time on long plane flights that is potentially slightly less embarrassing than masturbating in an airplane lavatory. Well, all this is sort of ancillary to the TWIO posts. So, on with the grades!

It was going to be higher, but I went away for a week without telling anyone. That is bad form. I still pass though.

Intended for: Right Here

On Berikyuu! beginnings.

There are two weeks worth of Berikyuu! in the bank now, and I thought I would share my thoughts on the first 10 episodes. In general, I like the show, but it is certainly not perfect.

Shot0008

Every episode starts with Mano Erina reading some poignant passage from a book of great renown, or something. I don't know near enough Japanese to understand what she is saying, but I do have eyes and a judgmental personality so I have some comments anyway. She is always wearing a school girl outfit of some kind and with herstraight hair and bangs cut below her eyebrows and I have to say I don't really like this look. In my opinion she

Mano Erina

looks too plain, too ordinary, she looks like any other Japanese schoolgirl. Granted, she is much cuter than youraverage Japanese school girl, but she doesn't seem to be that much cuter. She doesn't have an aspect that makesher seem exceptional, some kind of idol sparkle to command my attention and make me want to see more. If you compare this to her image in her Egg and Gatas days I think she has taken a step backwards.Back then with her crazy twin ponytails she stood out somewhat, and if you combined that with a shiny costume she was clearly identifiable as an "idol", but they have taken all of that away from her. If this is to be her image as a soloist I can already say I don't really care. With an look that just screams "ordinary" in every way I can practically hear the yawn-fest ballads already. NO THANKS, I'LL PASS. Mano Erina is only a small part of Berikyuu! though, the bulk of it is Berryz Koubou and C-ute.

I like the main part of Berikyuu!, when I first heard that this show would replace Uta Doki I was concerned that the short time slot would make the show feel constrained like Uta Doki but that doesn't seem to be the case. The difference could be because the Berikyuu! intro is a lot shorter than the drawn out Uta Doki MC part, or maybe it is because I don't usually understand the questions so Berikyuu! can be a bit boring at times and as a result it feels like it takes longer. Whatever the case may be, I think the show is generally good, but a few tweaks could make it much better. A simple change would be to add rewards and/or punishment games tied to the result of the contests. Doing so would make the contestants actually care whether they win or not. Currently, it doesn't really seem to matter to them one way or the other. This could partly be because of the nature of the questions being asked. There is no reasonable expectation that middle school girls would know things about gravure idols, so there is no shame in failing to answer the question properly. If instead of being asked to identify some medieval torture device/corn deflesher, they are asked more general knowledge questions, like "what is the highest mountain in Japan?", then there is a greater opportunity for comedy when they fail to get it right. In the current format, when somebody says a wrong answer the disembodied host voice says so and that is the end of it. He has the first crack at all jokes about the answer and the girls are left with whatever scraps he leaves behind. However, if they switched from whispering into a vase to flip cards where everyone's answer was visible at the same time the members could more easily mock each other's bonehead answers. If one of them fails an "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" type question and has to show everybody their mistake, that is just begging for the name calling and derisive laughter that we've come to expect in idol entertainment. If they don't want to do flip cards they could switch to buzzers instead. With really excitable people like Chinami around you could really get the energy up quickly with people beating on the buttons. Plus, the nature of buzzers encourages people to try to ring in quickly, even if they don't know the answer to the question yet, which is always a good source of humor. I think the quiz segment could be improved by things like that, but maybe there are other challenges that we might enjoy watching.

Personally, I could get behind single elimination tournaments. With 14 people the brackets would be uneven, but I don't think that is a big deal. I'd love to see an arm wrestling tournament, which we all know Maasa would win, but I think it would be fun to watch the process and see who faced her in the final. Heck, I think even a janken tournament could be fun if they did interviews beforehand and we got to hear strategy tidbits like, "she always throws rock first so I'm going paper all the way" and so on. Alternatively, if they want to maintain the Berryz v. C-ute dynamic they could make a game where each group has to select someone to represent them in a one on one match with a player from the other side. The matches could be in seven different general categories like "physical challenge", "social studies" or "pop culture knowledge" with the exact details hidden until after the competitors had been selected. There would be seven head to head matches, and each member would compete exactly once. That way, the Berryz team might consider selecting Maasa for the physical challenge in case it was a test of strength, Chinami since it might involve sprinting or hula-hoops, or Saki because it could be a limbo contest or something, but they wouldn't know what it was so there would be some measure of gambling involved and the producers could always throw them a curve ball. Having to face another person head on in a matter of winning and losing would get the competitive spirit flowing and would add more drama to the program. Usually, I feel that competition is good and all, but I think the show could be made greater with less conflict.

What I would like most of all is the return of certain things we have seen before. I'd love to see the revival of the short format skits that we saw in Berryz Koubou DVD Mag. 6 or C-ute DVD Mag. 4, where they had to do embarrassing things like confess their undying love for each other or act out weird personas to impress Okai-kun. Those skits require nearly nothing in terms of costumes, sets or props, and aren't really dependent on lots of rehearsal time so I think they could fit with Berikyuu! very well. I'd also like to see the return of the human sized board game from the Berryz Koubou bus tour. They could make a website with the content of all the squares and people could cheer at home for certain rolls. If they did two or three moves a day it might take a while to complete one game, but depending on how often someone landed on a "show us your sexy pose" square I might not care. In my opinion, having things like this would make a fun show without punishments or losers, which would be nice if possible.

On top of the list of things I know I'll never see, but the odds of them happening are greater than zero so I continue to hold out hope, is a Twister(TM) tournament. I know they'll never do it, but it has the potential to be awesome, and a fellow can dream. I think exhausting all possible combinations of players would be Haromoni@ levels of tedious, so I think that if you start with 15 people (7 Berryz + 7 C-ute + 1 Mano Erina) you could randomly divide them into three groups of five for the first round eliminations. The top three from each heat could go onto the second round with the heat winner that lasted to most moves facing the second and third place finishers that lasted the fewest moves in a three way battle. The heat winner that had to go the fewest steps would face the second and third place players that lasted the longest in one match, and the the remaining three qualifiers would face each other. The six first round losers would face off in a last chance Twister melee, where the winner would get moved up to the final with the three winners of the second round matches. The winner would be decided in only eight matches that way, and I think that, depending on how they edited it, the tournament could be high quality television entertainment.

Similarly, I think the Nintendo Wii super product placement happy fun time marketing segment could be fun too if only they switch to a game that they can play together, hopefully one that involves more jumping around, like a sports title. I've never played with a Wii, but as I understand it they can be quite fun, but that quiz game didn't seem to be the most exciting one available.

Also, I think they should try more regular outfits, it is going to look exceedingly stupid when C-ute switches to "normal" clothes with their Namida no Iro costumes and Berryz Koubou are still wearing their absurd Dschingis Khan costumes. The disparity will painfully jarring.

In total, I'm interested in where Berikyuu! is going in the future, even if they stay in that tiny room I think a lot of entertaining things can be done, and I hope that they give the girls a chance to shine more individually in the future.

Status: Never posted.

I don't like this. I wrote it three Sundays ago, and as I was editing it that Monday and I couldn't seem to make anything worthwhile out of it. I think part of it is that the third paragraph is too heavily influenced by my initial impressions of the first episode, and colors the description of the whole first week around that. When I was rewatching the episodes I found that my appreciation for them was muh higher than what I wrote would suggest. Then on Tuesday I considered cutting it down and making it just a post on the things I want to see in Berikyuu! and maybe a second post on Mano Erina's solo image. I didn't find a way to make the second half on its own seem worth reading. I wasn't interested by it and I wrote it about my own desires. Ultimately, it failed the "who cares?" test. The Mano Eri part I actually kinda liked and I've thought about expanding it with my thoughts on how her look has evolved over time. In particular, when she started tucking her hair behind her ears in week three. I think it better shows off more of her most obvious talent: her cute face. Having this holding everything up became stressful to me, until Wednesday when I realized I could just abandon it, and make it go away. I don't have any plans to revisit this topic, so this quarter finished piece will likely be all that remains.

On Episode 14 of Berikyuu!:

I think this shit is funny. I always say the "Nooooo" parts out loud when I read it, and it makes me laugh without fail. I don't know if I actually succeeded in being funny or not, as I have no clue if anyone else ever laughed because of it, but it is still my favorite post by me, ever. The "*close*" part at the bottom was to represent my closing the video at that point and not watching the rest. I don't know if that was clear or not. Originally it was *Quit*, but I thought that might be taken to mean I had quit Berikyuu! altogether which isn't the case. In spite of everything, I still have some hope.

On Medical Conditions.:

The thing about this that I think is so evil is not the thinking that she might be pregnant. I view that as a fairly normal reaction at this point. Rather, it is that I thought about that and then my personal desires before I considered her health and well being. Appendicitis is a potentially life threatening ailment, and I thought about her boobs before that... that's pretty evil in my estimation. I'll admit to feeling genuinely bad about that. Also, originally, instead of "if her boobs are out there" it was "if her boobs are hanging out", but I thought that might be interpreted to mean that I expected her breasts to be totally exposed, which is not a requirement for me. So I changed it, but on further reflection I feel that old way was better.

On lessons for grown-ups.:

I can't believe I did that post without working in a couple "cream on face" screenshots. Oh well.

Other than these things, I can't believe how bad my English is... I need to head down to the library and read a few books on the subject...

I'm sort of distressed that I wrote something for here and didn't post it. This is supposed to be where I put all my stupid stuff, and if I don't use it for that purpose what is point? It could just be that I have standards of some kind, but in my life I haven't found being selective to be a huge benefit. Well, whatever...

The long hiatus doesn't really bother me though. I never intended this to be one of those blogs that comments on every piece of news that goes by, but instead to be place to put things when I have something to say. There is no schedule, and I feel no obligation to post anything regularly. Even these TWIO posts were never intended to actually be weekly, but instead were meant to be made whenever I felt the need for one. So I don't mind not posting when I don't have anything to say, however I left with posts I still wanted make and I feel kinda bad for not doing them first.

Eh, status quo still isn't bad, though I feel a desire to lower my standards (I can't believe that's possible!) and post more frequently to that things aren't left unsaid.

I'm sort of excited though, because I have practically two whole weeks of Berikyuu! and other releases to catch up on, and I'm sure there must be some jems.

"A stitched up bear's anus saves nine day's shoveling."

"People who pass stones in glass houses should see a urologist."

Thank you for your time.